*** Saturday, September 24, 2005 ***
- God Damn...... I'm getting old -
So I had another birthday recently..... Thursday to be exact, and I'm now 24 years old. I know anyone older than that is saying "24? Damn, that's not old", but I still feel old as hell. Gone are the carefree days of just hanging out with friends without worrying about the future. Actually I'm paying for those days now, trying to get something resembling a future going again after fucking things up pretty good over the past 6 years or so. I suppose you can chalk it up to life experience and say it builds character, which is what I do to make myself feel better. But when you get down to it I'm still 24 and just getting back into college and pretty much starting fresh. Living with my parents. No girlfriend. No good social skills that would help me get a girlfriend either....... I called my blog "The Boring World of Goob" as a warning, not as a joke.....
School does make me feel a little better I suppose, since I plan on being a big science geek biologist someday. Though being this old makes me feel like I should be taking upper level classes and helping the professors with research, not sitting in Bio 101 with 250 annoying freshman. To me that's a bit humiliating, but at the same time I can't say I know all the material, and technically I'm just as dumb as those freshman when it comes to learning about cellular respiration.
Before this quarter started, my parents said that I would be starting a new chapter in my life. I didn't really see how it was that big of a deal, I just thought it was one of those dumb things parents say. But now I guess they were right. Finishing school is going to be a long journey that I probably won't enjoy much of, and it's not going to be easy. People warned me about Biology. But there's really not anything else that I would want to do. Or at least not that I would be willing to spend 3-4 years in school to do.
You know, typing this is really getting me depressed. People always say "Oh life will get better", but I really don't think I believe them anymore. Looking at other people as they age, finish school, get real jobs, they don't seem any happier. If anything it seems to me like things get progressively worse. God I really hope that's not true.
Well I'm tired of typing, and just plain tired. I'm going to go say hi to my snakes and have an entirely too long conversation with my cat. They always seem to cheer me up. -chris- i posted this at 12:41 AM ---
School does make me feel a little better I suppose, since I plan on being a big science geek biologist someday. Though being this old makes me feel like I should be taking upper level classes and helping the professors with research, not sitting in Bio 101 with 250 annoying freshman. To me that's a bit humiliating, but at the same time I can't say I know all the material, and technically I'm just as dumb as those freshman when it comes to learning about cellular respiration.
Before this quarter started, my parents said that I would be starting a new chapter in my life. I didn't really see how it was that big of a deal, I just thought it was one of those dumb things parents say. But now I guess they were right. Finishing school is going to be a long journey that I probably won't enjoy much of, and it's not going to be easy. People warned me about Biology. But there's really not anything else that I would want to do. Or at least not that I would be willing to spend 3-4 years in school to do.
You know, typing this is really getting me depressed. People always say "Oh life will get better", but I really don't think I believe them anymore. Looking at other people as they age, finish school, get real jobs, they don't seem any happier. If anything it seems to me like things get progressively worse. God I really hope that's not true.
Well I'm tired of typing, and just plain tired. I'm going to go say hi to my snakes and have an entirely too long conversation with my cat. They always seem to cheer me up. -chris- i posted this at 12:41 AM ---
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ah-ha! something written that doesn't include a picture of a snake or cat (or me I suppose)... well, don't get too depressed chum. I've been 24 for about three months now and let me tell ya--it still feels like i am eight or so... but you know this.
Um, I think people tell you "it only gets better" are telling the truth. Well, at least part of the truth. What I think happens is your opinion on "what's better" changes as you grow older. As teenagers, we thought getting drunk and acting stupid was the good life. As young adults, well I guess the getting fucked up may still be there, but finnishing school and find a rewarding career is the better life. Being able to pay tazes and care about mortgages and financial freedom is what we'll strive for... later, in the end our opinions may change again and slurping prune juice through a straw, while we sit upon our hemeroid cushions in comfort watching all the young wipper-snappers do normal easy tasks like climbing to the top of the staircase with ease (bringing on jelousy's), may be a new form of better (though I doubt it--it'll probably be the longing for another day closer to the grave which will make us happy)... so don't get so depressed chum... Now that you're 24, just look at it as just one tiny bit of a fraction closer to that ultimate day of expiration of your futile attempt at a worthless and meaningless existance... *sigh* now Im depressed... oh bother, where'd my gun get to?
Um, I think people tell you "it only gets better" are telling the truth. Well, at least part of the truth. What I think happens is your opinion on "what's better" changes as you grow older. As teenagers, we thought getting drunk and acting stupid was the good life. As young adults, well I guess the getting fucked up may still be there, but finnishing school and find a rewarding career is the better life. Being able to pay tazes and care about mortgages and financial freedom is what we'll strive for... later, in the end our opinions may change again and slurping prune juice through a straw, while we sit upon our hemeroid cushions in comfort watching all the young wipper-snappers do normal easy tasks like climbing to the top of the staircase with ease (bringing on jelousy's), may be a new form of better (though I doubt it--it'll probably be the longing for another day closer to the grave which will make us happy)... so don't get so depressed chum... Now that you're 24, just look at it as just one tiny bit of a fraction closer to that ultimate day of expiration of your futile attempt at a worthless and meaningless existance... *sigh* now Im depressed... oh bother, where'd my gun get to?
DO NOT EVER SAY BULLOCKS on my blog you bastard. You should know better.... anyways, I know what you mean, not too long ago I was the vegetarian punk kid who wanted to live in an apartment in the city and just have fun forever, but goals and such have changed. Now I look forward to hopefully being a suburbanite just like mommy and daddy someday, with a good job and a nice house with plenty of room and money for snakes. (You had to have seen that coming). Also I never thought marriage was a big deal, and married people always complain about it so much, but I would like to get married. So don't take my depressed whining too seriously, it's just me thinking out loud while only looking at the crappy day to day stuff and not at the big picture.
ha ha hamahwahaaHaHA!!!
you can't stop me from typing bul--
thought I was going to do it didn't ya? of course you could always delete the post... wouldnt want that would we... um... at least I wouldn't... not only do I like to hear the sound of my voice, I also like to see myself in print... (One day, Michael was looking at his reflection in a wishing well... you know how the story goes)
Um, about marriage, er... i wasn't surprised at all by your comment, or the fact that you have thoughts, well hopes of getting married someday... I always knew you did... ha! i don't think I'll ever get hooked, though, notice i didn't write "hitched," i meant hooked--and not in a bad way... I just think I am too selfish to ever fall in love or whatnot... HA!
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you can't stop me from typing bul--
thought I was going to do it didn't ya? of course you could always delete the post... wouldnt want that would we... um... at least I wouldn't... not only do I like to hear the sound of my voice, I also like to see myself in print... (One day, Michael was looking at his reflection in a wishing well... you know how the story goes)
Um, about marriage, er... i wasn't surprised at all by your comment, or the fact that you have thoughts, well hopes of getting married someday... I always knew you did... ha! i don't think I'll ever get hooked, though, notice i didn't write "hitched," i meant hooked--and not in a bad way... I just think I am too selfish to ever fall in love or whatnot... HA!
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