- Tuesdays equal Long Post -

I'm back for another day, and another exciting week of scholarly pursuit. And I promise not to talk about the weather this time.... :)
For any of you who are wondering or even interested, it's been over 2 weeks without a cigarette. And no cigarettes means NO cigarettes, no cheating this time and counting one cigarette a week as none. As for being off the patch, I've been completely nicotine free for about nine days. I think I've figured out the biggest problem I have with quitting smoking. It's jealousy. Yes, jealousy. See, if no one else in the world smoked, or everyone else had to quit too, then I would have no problem at all. I have no real physical cravings or need for a cigarette. I'm doing completely fine with that. But the fact is that other people do smoke still, and I have to see them. And when I do see them, it makes me angry because they get to smoke and I don't. While I may not have physical cravings for a smoke, I do have pleasant memories of smoking, and it was quite enjoyable to me. So when I am reminded of those memories by seeing someone smoking or getting a whiff of someone's cigarette, it makes me angry that I don't get to enjoy that anymore (yes, I realize that I could smoke anytime I want, but when I say I can't, I mean I won't). So yes.... jealousy and anger at those barstards who can afford to buy cigarettes and who aren't worried about their health is what gets to me. Because I want to still be one of them, but I've moved on. While I say I'm doing this for my snakes, which is true, there are also many other reasons that I just can't keep ignoring, my own well-being included. I want to be able to go bike riding or hiking or jogging and enjoy it.
I think jealousy and greed are just two forms of self-centeredness, which is a big problem among drunks. It's definitely something I try to be aware of, and avoid when possible. But I still consider myself to be pretty self-centered - I like to buy myself stuff and do stuff that I enjoy, but I try not to put my wants over other people's needs all the time. If that makes any sense.... I try to be a good all-around person and make other people happy and feel good about themselves when I can.... I don't really know where I'm going with this, so I think I'll stop there.

Ok enough of that. What about school? Nothing all that exciting to report... I had to buy another calculator which pisses me off. You have to buy a super-expensive calculator for math class, then your other classes say that it's too fancy and you're not allowed to use it, so you have to go buy the one they want you to use, and I'm sure at some point I'll have another class that says I can only use the one they like.... At least I already have the expensive one, and the one I had to get for Chemistry was only $15. Other than that, school is school. I like Tuesdays though, it's a pretty easy day with a nice long break for me to post long annoying blogs.

Lately I've been listening to a lot more of the old pop-punk stuff again, like MTX, Screeching Weasel and The Lillingtons. I don't know why the Lillingtons weren't/aren't more popular. They've got some great songs. But I think the reason for getting back into all that is partially from looking up songs on Myspace, and partially from playing guitar more lately. I can't play any of the really good, musical stuff I've been listening in more recent times, and it's not as fun to play either. I like playing good ol' punk rock. It makes you feel good. Like Abs slam-dancing, playing does it for me. That's the best thing about punk rock - the energy and the rush you get from it.
In spite of all that..... I've been singing Jimmy Buffett songs in my head for the past few days..... and I don't know why. Not that it's a problem, it's just not what I usually have playing on the record player in my head..... Oh and I noticed he's touring...... I thought he had his "final" tour a few years back..... or did I just imagine that? Either way it doesn't matter I suppose, I don't think I could go to a Buffett show sober. I don't think you're even allowed to.....

I got a nice surprise yesterday which turned into a horrible one..... I got home from school and was looking for something to watch, and saw that a Reds game was on. So I started watching it and realized it was opening day. That's fun, right? It was in the 4th or 5th inning when I turned it on, and the Reds were only down by a run, and then they tied it up. But anyone who saw the 6th inning will know what happened next. I'm not going to give the whole story, but it was awful. I just hope it's not an indication of how the rest of the season's going to go.....

Well I guess that's all for now. I thought laptop batteries lasted longer, but this one's starting to get a little low. And I have to use the restroom..... So I hope everyone is having a nice day, and I'll talk to you/type at you later.....  i posted this at 12:09 PM ---